Today we went to Big W to buy fans. I was so happy to get a bargain - my fan cost $15 so I got 2 so 1 can go in the living room. Since I spent the whole night tossing and turning, I decided I would get a fan TODAY.
Anyway, on the train on our way back, I had the chance to sit near a guy who, upon closer inspection, was shabbily dressed and had scratches on his neck, arms, legs and other parts of his body that wasn't covered with clothing and/or tattoos. He was at first surprised that I sat next to him while he was emptying his bag and re-organising its contents. He leaned forward and said to me, "I won't bite you. People don't normally sit next to me unless they're desperate. I look like this but I'm not a bad person."
I remember just blinking at him because I didn't expect that kind of reaction at all. We spoke for a while about where we're from and how his dad was Chinese (he did look a bit Asian) and then someone called him on his mobile phone. Apparently, it was someone named Jo/Joe and he was saying something like "you can't stop just like that. You need to do it slowly. That's what I've been trying to tell you. How come you didn't believe me when I told you that?"
A few minutes later, the train was reached my stop. When I got off the train, I couldn't help but wonder what his circumstances are and why did have scratches/cuts all over his body. Is he homeless? Is he an addict? Was he trying to help someone get over their addiction?
It got me thinking about how quick we are to judge others and in that instant, we jump to the conclusion that we have also been judged. Did he think that others thought him a bad person because of how he looked? He didn't sound bitter about it - it was as if he was simply stating the truth.
I am reminded of the time my psychology class visited a drug rehabilitation centre in KL, some time in 2006. The addicts (some of them HIV positive) told us about their experiences when they meet people and the reactions/judgmental comments they would receive. There were no bitter responses, just mere acceptance of their fate. It seemed like a very depressing place to be. sigh...
I didn't get to tell the train dude that it wasn't that people thought he was a bad person, it was just that he made people feel uncomfortable. It's a kind of vicious cycle I suppose - people feel uncomfortable by his outward appearance and don't want to sit next to him, and then he resents them for not wanting to sit next to him.
Sometimes I wonder how much truth there is to idea that the universe echoes your thoughts.
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